Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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