you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
