In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
