I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
