I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
