Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
