It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
