why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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