She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
