we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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