I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
