small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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