I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
