I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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