If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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