the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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