The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
