so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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