he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
