I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize