Where is the hickey?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize