nut hugger
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There r osticjed everywhere
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
