I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
