Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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