How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I could fuck to npr.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
