Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
