Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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