Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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