I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
