First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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