CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
