After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
