I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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