I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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