Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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