i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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