I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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