thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
