Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I wear drunk well.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize