My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
