therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
