Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Shame - the story of my life.
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