i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
