May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
