you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
