like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
