i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
sarcasm needs its own font
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
