this boner is exhausting
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
