i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The adults are the big ones right?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
