remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
