is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
