It's Friday. Sex?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
