2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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