I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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