i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
