explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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