Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
