I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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