do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm just crazy horny about you
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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