no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
