yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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