i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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