wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
